1. Thou shalt not be silent
Honest and CLEAR Communication is sooo important in any relationship.
Don’t shutdown, escape or ignore one another.
Worst of all don’t just go along to get along.
One person in any relationship tends to be the alpha / dominant one.
So if you are not “wearing the pants” you must speak the funk up or you WILL get yo azz ran over! Then you will most likely blow your top once you are fed up and just run away AKA fight or flight.
2. Thou shalt not use superlatives
Don’t say you always do this or you always do that…it’s not usually the case.
There may be a pattern of an annoying behavior or habit that annoys you.
Ask yourself if this is really worth you getting pissed off over. Something such as forgetting to shut the door after your spouse takes a dump or not putting the dishes away correctly may bother you but is it worth nagging your spouse about it for the thousandth time after ten plus years of marriage?
Begin to consider if there is something deeper causing you to nag so much about petty sheeet? Do your best to get to the root of the issue.
3. Thou shalt not release thy family business
Be careful about sharing your marital issues with friends and family members.
When sheeet hits the fan these people will take sides.
They may mean well but they can give bad advice based on their own struggles in relationships. Would you take advice from a friend who is single, a married friend who is contemplating getting a divorce and hates her husband or a Mom who has been married 3 damn times?
I’ve lived through all this sheeet and am speaking from personal experience, if you could not tell already.
One big exception on this is related to abuse whether physical or verbal.
Yes, I said verbal because a woman may not be able to beat up a man physically but she can beat his azzz up mentally, emotionally and most of all verbally.
In the case of abuse, try to seek a mental health professional and separate yourself from the situation for a while for a cooling off period.
4. Thou shalt not withhold sex from thy partner
Ahhhh…my favorite commandment, LOL. I can see the all of the eye rolls now.
Sex is a good barometer for measuring the health of a marriage.
This ties back to Commandment #1 related to communication.
Ladies…being on your period is not an excuse to not engage in intimacy with your partner. You betta put a towell down or not be afraid of felatio. Just cuz your Mom was a prude and told you the Monica Lewinsky act was a sin doesn’t mean you have to follow in her footsteps. Again, that may be a big part of the reason why her azzz is single.
As Jada Pinkett said, if you are not giving “it” to your man regularly someone else gladly will.
Men and women like to be mentally stimulated before anything.
Sex is more than just intercourse.
Sex should just be a byproduct of great communication.
Also, don’t be afraid to be adventurous …just cuz you go to Cirilla’s a few time doesn’t mean y’all are going to hell and that’s all I’m going to say about that commandment.
5. Thou shalt not keep secrets
I sucked at keeping this commandment.
I would sometimes …well often, do something that I knew my ex-wife would be upset about. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.
Even though she had the gift of discernment, as most women do and already knew about what I had done. I still thought that somehow I could get away with my white lies.
Women just want the confession and her trust for you gradually decreases to the point where her mind will go haywire wondering what else you are not being honest about.
Don’t be afraid of confrontation or going along to get along no matter how bad the offense is that you committed. The truth will come out sooner or later. Whether before or after your divorce.
Women lie too! Y’all are just better at it and good at justifying it, LOL.
One more thing. Trust is a two way street…if a man doesn’t trust you with his heart, he will never be 100% honest with you. Also, sometimes people lie and do certain things to drive you nuts on purpose to eventually force you to kick them out of your life.
Bottom line…humans suck at clear, effective communication. Mastering this skill will save you from a whole heap of trouble.
Thanks for reading!!!
Please share this with a newlywed couple or anyone you think might benefit from these 5 MARRIAGE COMMANDMENTS.
Also, feel free to share any additional commandments you feel should be added to this list.
Checkout the video version of the above post at https://youtu.be/GlLa64GTagI
And the other video I did on my other 5 MARRIAGE COMMANDMENTS here:
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THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR SUPPORT AS I CONTINUE TO PRODUCE CREATIVE VALUABLE CONTENT
If only I had known what I know now yesterday
Or even today
Would be my last
What would I say
Where would I go
Who would I hang out with
What would I eat
Who would I call
Most of all
What would I write
As I lie here
I’m left with lots of questions
And absolutely zero answers
Contemplating the idea of dying
Don’t dm me
Don’t bother to ask me anything
Like Grandpa used to say
You plan on contributing
This not a suicide note
But rather a note to self
A reminder of how quickly you can forget what it means to exist
Those moments filled with bliss
As you exited your mothers womb
Greeted by excited smiles
A seemingly ancient existence
Letting go of figuring out my future
Pondering my past
Passively allowing serendipity decide my fate
Painstakingly piecing together a peculiar puzzle
Pausing to discover the hidden path
Accepting the gift of a precious present
Presently comfortable in my own presence
Embracing figments of an unimaginable essence
Contemplating the idea of living
With absolutely zero questions
And lots of answers
Writing about the thought of dying
Calling no one
Eating trail mix
Hanging out with an iPhone and my favorite Beatstrumentals
Going to my own funeral
Saying an emphatic eulogy
It is my last
Today is all I’ve got
There is no maybe tomorrow
If only I had known what I know now yesterday
By Aaron J. Yancey
I was at what appeared to be a hospital
I did something to make this black dude upset with me
He threatened to shoot me
I got scared told security and everyone he had a gun
Everyone laughed and said the gun was fake
I was at the home I grew up in with Mom
I looked outside and saw a big tornado that was really close
I yelled to the whole family to get ready because the tornado could strike at any moment
They all were walking around very nonchalantly and seemed to not be worried
Mom and Pop stayed upstairs
Wayne went ahead and walked down to the basement
I went down too
Then quickly went back to my room to grab some valuables such as
And a big blanket to wrap up in
I was at what appeared to be Aunt D’s house
Trish was not there but most of her family and my side of the family was there
I had these little cousins I was playing with
One of the kids was rapping really well
And I told his older brother they should record his rapping before his voice matured and was less high pitched
I saw my Step-Dad Mickey
Nicky’s daughter Kalen was there
So was Nicky
I walked out into this garage to leave the party
I held the door open for cousin Will as everyone followed
My high school Bball coach Steve took me to this guy to get some sort of delivery driving job
Steve had this cool sky blue big classic car
Almost looked like an Impala or Cadillac
The guy took my application
But never gave me an answer
On if I got the job or not
He was a middle eastern looking guy
4 am to 12pm
Were all with me to purchase some shoes
Ma tried to convince me to buy these black and red basketball shoes
I think it was because they were cheaper
Only about $40 to $50
I told her I wanted these shoes from a different store in the mall and Pop was ready to help me
She steady kept shoving these Bball sneakers in my face
A fireball of rage swirled in my stomach
Rising directly to the top of my head
Before I knew it
There I was strangling Mom right there in the mall
I could feel a state of mania taking over
Big bro had to pull me off her
I yelled to everyone I was moving back to Houston to live with Wayne
I was at a gym watching a performance of some sort amongst a group of people
One of the people in our group was breathtaking
She reminded me of Halle Berry but a little lighter
Shorter and with curly hair
She had a smile that melted my soul immediately
It felt like we were in school and it was time to go to the next period
We decided to go hide behind a big black stage curtain
Gazing into each other’s eyes
Before long gently kissing
Her telling me she was divorced too
If only this weren’t a dream
Was it a foreshadow of a woman to come
Or just another projection of my imagination
Looking at Map plotting to go back somewhere in the U.S. Eastern middle of the map
There was definitely another scene but I totally blanked out
July 18, 2019
6 am – 1 pm
I was riding a motorcycle really fast on the highway
I don’t know exactly where I was going
Traffic was flowing pretty quickly
There were a few times I had to hit my breaks
Eventually this cluster of about three other motorcyclists were near me attempting to race
I started to join them just as the cars all hit their brakes and traffic came to a halt
The motorcycle I was on looked really cool dark and very sporty
Randomly while riding on the highway I saw someone paying for something via Square Pay
I started to think that Square Pay would be the primary form of payment in the near future
I was staying somewhere and needed a drink
I walked into a nearby gas station and ran into this guy who started to be overly friendly and guided me to a drink
I really wanted alcohol or something else but he directed me to the fountain drinks and poured me ice water in a big styrofoam cup
I was sitting by myself at this round poker table in the middle of a different gas station
Once again I was craving some alcohol really bad
These cops and a manager stormed through the store questioning people like the Gestapo about stolen goods
I remember riding in a car and hearing someone playing country music
At some point I shared a hotel with my big bro
I got a reply email from the old limousine company I used to work for saying they are excited about me returning to their company
Copyright © 2019 Aaron J. Yancey
#dreamdiaries #dreams #diary #diary #diaries #prose #writer #blogs
Will funk a brutha up
Drowning in a bottom bunk
Who woulda thunk
We’d return to this winnowing wormhole
Swallowed in an inferno essence
An ever present drifting blight
Shining on me
Then passing me by
Burnt to a wisp
Wandering lips dry
Pulled into pieces
Riding off into bi-space
Where we three belong
Waving at Umbrellacorns
With the wind in our face
Orbiting platonic planet
At supersonic warp speed
Copyright © 2019 Aaron J. Yancey
#pennypoems #Poetry #poetsofinstagram #poem